Time to go back

The last few days have been pretty teary eyed for me. Every time I look over at Max and think about not being with him 24/7 my eyes well up. I just can't seem to help it. For the past year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, I have been with him. There are a few hours here and there that we weren't together but they aren't significant. Tomorrow I will go nine hours without him. Nine hours, 540 minutes, 32400 seconds. That's a lot to count down.

As you can guess, I am a little apprehensive about going back to work. The apprehension is primarily about how much I am going to miss Max. It's going to be terrible separation anxiety, for me that is. I don't think Max is going to be too put out. He gets to have a great summer with his dad. I get to have a great summer looking out my office window and thinking about all the fun things they are going to be doing. I think I might come down with a couple if "symptoms" over the summer. (cough cough)

I am a little apprehensive about going back to work, on the work front. It's been a year. Things have changed, things have happened. I'm going back to a boss I am not terribly fond of. What's nice is that everyone at work has been really looking forward to me coming back to work. That's a nice feeling. I am looking forward to new projects and using my brain in a completely different function. Marty says I need to go back, that it's time.

I haven't been feeling guilty, but I imagine that will come. There is no question about me staying home. It's not something that I want to do, and I know that in my heart. And there is no way we could do it financially either.

Whether I think it's time or not, it's tomorrow. Now I have to figure out what to wear, get my cycling gear organized, remember to pack deodorant and try and get to sleep. Wish me luck.