Breast is best!... says who??

Over and over again, all we hear is that "Breast if best!" And I have bought into it, hook line and sinker. And where has that gotten me? Exhausted, raw nipples and very little flow. And I am still trying to breast feed.

We saw the lactation consultant again yesterday. I was still having a terrible latching problem, screaming and swearing every time Maxim latched on. Lana was great and was a tremendous help and we left there feeling empowered. We found out that I am making more milk and that we might be able to rely more solidly on nursing with fewer suppliments. And the latching problem was solved. Ahhh, peace of mind...

Then last night happens. We I am home alone without Lana there to guide me with the latching, it didn't go as well. And now Maxim fusses terribly and spits up constantly after every feeding. So my night consisted of me holding Maxim, trying to console him from about 3am to when Marty got home from work at 9am. Can anyone say tired? That is actually a huge under statement. And I am still supposed to be pumping. That didn't happen.

So, am I continuing to breast feed? Of course I am, because breast is best! and I will be a complete failure if I don't do this. Or at least that is what society seems to say now. Even the WHO says that women should exclusively breast feed for at least the first 6 months, and ultimately the first 2 years. I wasn't hoping to go that far, but 6 months would have been nice. I was really aiming for a year. I guess I need to realise that he would be fussing regardless of whether he was nursing or just taking a bottle. So giving up on the breast feeding wouldn't change the fact that he is a really gassy baby and will have a crampy tummy regardless of what he eats. I think this is mantra that is going to get me through the next little while.

It's incredibly frustrating not knowing how much he gets from nursing. How do we know he has gotten enough? Do we need to give him more? Do we supplement? The questions are unending. Everyone said that this was going to be hard, but I never imagined how hard it really was. Why do people have more than one?